With so many women out there living a double life—getting married, getting married again, having children—how can we expect our husbands to stay home?
How can we be sure they’ll love us no matter what?
Here’s a solution.
The solutions are here.
The “no more sex” mantra is a classic feminist position.
It says that women need to work at keeping their mouths shut, never having sex, and generally remaining passive.
But it also says that husbands need to be proactive in controlling their wives’ lives, lest they leave them with no one.
“It’s a very dangerous way to govern women,” says Lisa Bloom, the author of the forthcoming book “No More Men.”
“When women have no control over their own lives, they tend to have a lot of self-esteem issues and an anxiety about men.”
And when women have control over the way they’re treated by men, they’re more likely to become violent and self-destructive.
But for some women, that might not be a bad thing.
Women like me.
The word “no” is used a lot in the media.
I’m the first in my family to get married and have kids.
We’ve been together for 35 years.
I have a good job.
I work full-time.
I pay taxes.
But my husband doesn’t have any kids.
So I’m a little bit of a loner.
He gets to be his own boss.
“He doesn’t feel the same pressure when I’m at work,” says Bloom, whose husband is a business owner.
“I’m not a good mother, and I’m not that kind of person who’s always trying to control everything in my life.
And that’s a really good thing.”
As a result, she says, he doesn’t seem to want to “overreact” to situations or have to put himself in harm’s way.
But there’s a danger, she adds, that “there’s this idea that, if you can’t control what your husband does, you can control what you do.”
A lot of people think the solution to controlling men is to get them out of the bedroom, and Bloom says that’s not necessarily true.
The reality is that men can control their wives if they’re not in the room.
In fact, it’s often women who don’t want their husbands to have sex with them.
And in fact, when they are, they can have an impact on the relationship.
“Women are the ones who are most prone to controlling the men in their lives,” says Andrea Jenkins, author of “Women Can’t Have It All.”
“They control what their husbands do and who they sleep with, and they control who their kids are with, who they are with their friends, and so forth.”
A woman who is in the home but doesn’t know it?
She’s controlling her husband, says Bloom.
“That’s a problem.
That’s the problem with men in the marriage.
That doesn’t mean they’re going to let their wives get all the fun.”
Women who don�t want to be involved?
They’re not getting out there, says Jenkins.
“They’re not going to go to the doctor, and the doctor is not going out of his way to go out to a dinner party.”
Men don’t have to be at home with their wives, either.
“What we’ve learned from our experience is that it is not necessary to have your husband in the bedroom to control his wife’s sexuality,” says Jenkins, who has written extensively about the role of women in the workplace.
“There is no reason why he has to be in the kitchen.”
What’s not so clear, though, is why men need to stay in the house if they don’t feel they’re contributing to their wives� sexual health.
The reason is that, says Miller, the social psychologist, men need “to be the ones to talk about things and to share.”
It’s a tricky balance.
And women, as the researchers found, aren’t always willing to say it.
They may find it frustrating to talk to a man, because they think he might be too busy with his job to talk.
But they may find their husbands too uncomfortable to speak up, because he’s the one that has to take care of them.
“If it’s a matter of my health or my relationship with my husband, I would like to have my partner be there,” says Jenks.
And, she notes, “it’s not just about how many hours I’m working or how much I’m paid.
It’s also about how I feel about him, and how he feels about me.”
The solution to the problem of controlling men?
It may require a shift in social attitudes, says Dr. John G. McGovern, a professor of family and social psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles.
He says it’s not surprising that “the wives who feel most comfortable speaking up